Well, it turns out that the exciting new job won’t be getting back to me for a while, which is a bit of a pisser, seeing as I now can’t stomach my current job, and I don’t know whether to really look for another one.

On the positive side, I was on the bus home from work last night and overheard a conversation between two total chavs behind me, one of whom suddenly exclaimed to be ‘cracked up to my spleen.’ I laughed so hard I think he would have killed me if he weren’t, you know, high on crack.